Toilet Strategist T-Shirts

"Hey Rudy, you've been in there for over an hour. You OK in there?" "I think I'm dying here." "What? D'you need me to call 911?" "I don't think that'll help." "I just need to build more pikemen and cavalry and buy a defense boost before the enemy's march reaches my city." "Get off your phone!!!" "I'm saving a kingdom here! It's important!"

Personal Potty Trainer

'A representative will be with you in twelve minutes... so, if you have to go to the bathroom, please go now...'

Woman puts a targeting sight on her vacuum cleaner.

'I'm trying to toilet train them.'

'I take a cold shower every morning... right after my daughters have taken hot ones.'

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"Morning Gorgeous!"

'I warned you to stop snarfing down the free samples!'

Potty Training.

'Bloody reincarnation therapy!'

Fat Kid 13- Goes for a ride

"Here's a money-saving tip."

Lav Nav

"And you guys said I was 'gross'."

"I’ll be back — I just have to pee for 90 minutes."

Windscreen wiper on mirror to clean mess from youth squeezing spots

"I took 30 showers today, so I'm good for the month."

After ditching the footwraps the Russian army faces the lost sock paradox.

'Life is like a toilet roll. It's only when you've reached the end do you realize how much you've wasted.'

'You want to borrow a tampon?!'

'And this is the ultimate in low-flush toilets!'

Eureka!

Toilet training for an adult.

"Yes, mom, I forgot my towel. Now I need an exit strategy!"

"I'm sorry, mom. I couldn't hold it."

THE FART HEARD ROUND THE WORLD

"She's in the bathroom, enjoying our new Japanese toilet."

'So, Mister Hamer, you want 500,000 pounds for a 2% share of your revolutionary new port-a-loo business!'

Gracie lures Baldo out of the bathroom by calling his phone.

'We need another bathroom.'

Professional Toilet Trainer.