Toe Talkers Mugs

'It's not his six toes he's upset about...it's being told it won't make him run any faster.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

'Every time you speak, George, your new teeth whistle!'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

'I made a big mistake. In a fit of anger, I said, 'Screw you' to my boss.'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

Man talking to a tree.

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

Swan Lake Auditions

What Is This Crap?

"Quit complaining and decorate it! Number one, it's tradition, number two, it's nobody we know..."

"Careful...she bites."

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'

'Have you seen pictures of those redwood trees with holes big enough for cars to drive through?'

They always go for the hoe.

"Ironically, he's being used to create 'save our forest' pamphlets."

'50 for 5 minutes extraction.' 'I'll go slow next time.'

That's a nasty outgoing toenail you've got there.'

"I can't get through to him. See what you can do."

'That tip you gave her-I hope you're not expecting to eat for the rest of the month!'

Riverdance school

"Just between you and me...when a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it still makes a sound."

Man changing channels with his toe

'The stadium restrooms are free, sir. It just costs a buck to get out.'

"Not so much as a mention on Wikileaks."

Librarian/Book Whisperer

"You fellas' wanna' shoot some hoop instead?"