Title Taker Gifts

'It so happens, I think of myself as a C.E.O. first, then as a human being!'

'I have decided that, in the royal tradition, we will no longer simply be Walt and Liz, we will be Walter and Elizabeth, the Duke and Duchess of Kalamazoo.'

"Tonight! Author book signing." "Develop your inner raging bitch."

'He likes to power nap.'

Exam

'Instead of a raise, Yomp, you may call me 'Chief', instead of Mr Staghorn.'

'This test doesn't understand me.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'I chose my field on what would put the most impressive initials after my name.'

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

'Guess who netted it.'

'What - no internet? No USB ports? No socket for the coffee machine? No phone? Are you crazy? My husband was a very important CEO!'

'Will Mr. 'No Comment' please remain after class.'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

Good Luck with your finals.

Empty Headed Schoolboy

Young Doctor, Young Nurse, Young Undertaker

'I'm afraid I still have more questions than answers.'

Bigger Brain

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

'You shouldn't have.'

History student: 'I remembered the Alamo ... but forgot everything else!'

Shake it like a Polaroid picture...

'At least they did a good job on him.'

'Harry! - If you can hear me - what did you do with the remote!?'

The Boss.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'What makes me mad, I was only a couple seats away from all the right answers!'

"...and you call yourself a computational immunotox-pharmacological an-diffracctiion bimolecular therapeutic ononclonal-antibody genomic metabolic-endocrinologist."

'I used to be an accountant but I found it too depressing.'

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Chicken Funeral Planning.