Title Decoder Pillows

"Bob, let's meet everyone. Amy is Director of Thought Innovation Solutions, Marcus is head of Transformative Mindset Empowerment, Terry's in charge of Scalable Competency Integration, and Gail is VP of Agile Enterprise Strategy. None of us knows what we do, Bob."

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

What Business People often say (and what they really mean)

'Physical or Social Science?'

Movies through the decades.

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

'It's not encrypted, Captain. That's just the clerk's usual typing.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

Every Friday lunchtime procurement managers would gather to boast of the size of bid documents they had received that week.

'It's my job to be nosy!'

"I have some character-building news for you."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

'I've gone from spanning the globe at lightening speed to struggling with some techie's accent over a bad connection.'

Office of Lyrics You Can't Understand

"I'm not sure she really liked our gift. She used just two exclamation points after 'Thanks'."

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

"It says to sign, and then print my name... can I use the school printer?"

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"The chocolate pudding is chef's digital signature dish."

'You can keep your job if you can come up with a satisfactory description of it.'

Marooned Optometrist

"I would be bilingual if you were bilingual!"

"If we could decipher their language we'd have a clue to their intelligence levels."

'This is our conference room modeled after the United Nations so we can understand what our tech support people are saying.'

Dog Typos.

'It's a good tax document conceptually, but your jargon's weak.'

'Sorry, but this report is simply unacceptable. Way too much mumbo... not nearly enough jumbo.'

The Bureaucrats

Dilma Rousseff

Russian Ministry of Disinformation

And the unicorns shall come down with them, and the bullocks with the bulls; and their land shall be soaked with blood, and their dust made fat with fatness. - Isaiah 34:7