Tissue Toppers Pillows

"But I don't want to get well, I'll have to go back to school!"

Paris' magnificent Trifle tower.

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"Puffiness and dark circles under the eyes, sniffles, trouble sleeping, rashes...you don't have allergies...you have children."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

"The tissues are for crying."

'No more appointments today, Miss Mitchell. I'm all psyched out.'

"They say it's the first sign of aging - not being able to keep up with new technology."

'I hate chick flicks!' 'Sniff...me too...'

Abandon all hope of Wifi ye who enter here

"This wasn't me, it was the bottle talking."

"Your tests are back. You're allergic to tissues."

"Enjoy the movie, and try not to cry too loud at the end when the dog comes home."

'One second - wo seconds - three seconds - four seconds -one hour...'

"Refresh my memory-why do we meet once a week?"

Asthma cats

'Would you like to start with a drink, a menu, or my gratuity.'

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

"She's always got her nose in a book."

'So, does your wrist-wearable wine analyzer have anything so say about that Burgundy, like how to get it out of silk?'

'If I work at home and I'm sick, do I have to go to the office?'

'Big tissue?'

The New Normal? Factory Firect Bath Tissue: Now by the sheet

"I say you sneaking that case of toilet tissue in the house early this morning. Dad. . . What are you up to?"

'Lobbyist from 'Big Wind' here to see you, Senator.'

"I sure will be glad when all police departments have been disbanded or defunded. . . all the confederate statues are gone. . . then we all will get along."

The Common Cold.

Cow-sized Tissues.

"I apply for a grant and all they give me is a big ball and a small ball. Here's what I think of them."

F&E Pizza. Our pizzas can't be topped. I think I see our problem.

I do not have a cold!

Emotional Incontinence Pads

'We do like both parties to attend even though you haven't been out together since 1984...'

'Why do you think you need more issues, Miss Wilcox? You've got enough issues as it is.'

Tissue factory: 'Forget about softness. Tests show we could triple sales if we add pepper.'