Tissue Tactician Gifts

"The tissues are for crying."

'If I work at home and I'm sick, do I have to go to the office?'

Coach to football players: 'And no cuddling!'

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

"Memo to self - personalise new work-station."

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

"Something's trying to get through the Astroturf!"

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

Human males marking territory.

'Boy, look at his personal space!'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Oi, do you mind, trying to speak to my colleague - two self service tills having a chat together.'

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

'Sir, our sales force has just taken Atlanta.'

I've left your pin on the map, but I've loosened it.

'Please remember how silly and humiliating grinding pepper is when you figure my tip.'

Wi-Fi password?

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

GREENLAND

'-and who's next?'

'I'm very concerned about the surveillance society.'

"I don't even like toys. I just do this so people won't talk to me."

"The play date's breaking up early due to creative differences."

"I appreciate your calling, but I'm not interested in purchasing Chinese food at this time."