Tipping Humorist Pillows

Will tip for service.

Orchestra Class Air Guitar.

Yes, they are all dependants."

"Rapunzel,Rapunzel.Throw down your accounts for the last fiscal year!"

"Well, I'm sorry. The 3 wishes I'm granting can't exceed the annual exclusion of $14,000."

"I just asked to see his tax returns. It was supposed to be funny."

'How about a windfall tax on baked beans?'

"Do we need change? That's a $100 bill for a $53 check, Mr. Presumptuous."

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

"It's right here… Nov. 29th, 1981, at Elaine's… twelve percent."

Budget reaction.

'He's testing my Hippocratic Oath. He wors for the IRS.'

Ever sensitive about its image, the IRS tries a more service-oriented approach.

Earl was obviously distressed, as he recounted under hypnosis how aliens had abducted him, and had their tax inspectors thoroughly examine his books.

"Actually we're one of the few businesses that enjoy VAT visits."

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

I was rapidly rising to my level of incompetence, so I started screwing up just enough to maintain job security.

'It only made sense for us to finally merge.'

'You're right, I did overtip. Well, we'll just stiff someone at the next place.'

'Historically, the population decline started when the Dodo Government introduced a tax on flying...'

'Wake up, Jim. It's time for your break.'

"Stop saying, 'Capital,' Gaines."

"Do you have any receipts from this this 'alien abduction'?"

"Remember to round each billable hour off to the nearest week."

'My records show that you haven't filed a tax return for 17 years!'

'The next phase in which we carve the stones ornately will cost a little more than the previous ones.'

Would you like a tissue - they're 24p plus VAT.

"Our property taxes went up agian."

'From January to May, I work for the government to pay for my income tax and from May to October to pay for my malpractice insurance.'

Joe's Bar: Gentlemen must wear blue collars.