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"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

"And what can the Joint Chiefs of Staff do for you today, little girl?"

'She always has her own way. She even writes her diary a few days in advance.'

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

'I've tried all night without potting a ball.' - 'Try taking away the wooden frame.'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Tomorrow's special is fish, so wear the flounder suit.'

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"My favorite tea: hot daffodil-infused chamomile with a hint of whiskey. Are you serious? Of course I'm serious! I've been dosing myself with small quantities of poisonous daffodil ever since 1931. You have to build up an immunity if you want to survive in the cutthroat world of Scrabble tournaments."

"And when conventional theories don't work, we've got Charnier here to do us a spot of voodoo marketing."

'I recorded this earlier today. . . they're his first intelligent words!'

"Saturn. No contest. A deadly, treacherous gas giant ringed by a gossamer halo of ice. It symbolizes both death and life. Both evil and good. It symbolizes existence itself."

"My mommy suggested I try a different advertising approach."

Murphy's Bed meets Murphy's Law.

"We're making progress."

'He's soccer mad! Ever since he did his first sums he's wanted to be a players' agent.'

The Book Club

"My kitchen is very small. Do you have any with doors that swing in?"

Murphy bed...Murphy.

"I want you both to know that I'm unhappy about the way things are run around here, and there are going to be some changes made..."

"The answer isn't more troops—what you need is an antibiotic."

"I'm in advertising. . ."

'Will you make the final table?'

'You really have no idea what you're doing do you?'

"Timing is everything. I recommend that you act now before the authorities discover I've escaped."

"Daddy's going of to defeat terrorism in subtler, economic ways."

"We didn't have room to store the Halloween decorations so we put them on the Christmas Tree."

"Good thing I listened to you and implemented the new strategy."

Junior Doctor and Junior Insurance Salesman

"Go human."

"I'd fire him in a minute, but the old man thinks we need his unique perspective around here."