Tiny Pitcher Pillows

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"My political platform focuses on more ice cream and more frisbee chasing, with less chores and fewer baths."

Football Fans

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"Have you been eating the paste again, Todd?"

"Kindergarten, first grade,second grade, third grade...when do we get to retire?"

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Just call me Picasso!

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN! "It was mostly okay, but there's way too much micromanagement!"

"I tested very high in playing."

'You'll never be the next Micheal Phelps if you don't start working on your breaststroke.'

"Honestly, sweetheart, they haven't brought out a little Ellen MacArthur set. As soon as they do daddy will get you one."

'He'll be a great basketball player someday -- he already dribbles all over the place.

'Here is my proposal for making our department more productive. The proposal contains my best cognitive distortions.'

Big Football

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

'Balk!'

"I still thinking he's putting something unidentified on the ball."

Hydroponic Gardening

Older than Nolan Ryan and still pitching

War on drugs... war on terror... war on lima beans.

Baseball manager shows pitcher complicated charts.

'This wouldn't have happened if you'd played catch with me more.'

"Idiot! I signaled for a sinker!"

"A five, six, seven, eight, Mooooom!"

"O.K., Chief! Hang on to your socks!"

The rotator cuff fairy.

'Kenny! Stop...We're over here!'

Planeterrium.

'I am transferring to another day-care center. I am not getting enough playing time.'

'I think the new exercise ball we got the hamster is too big...'

Baseball manager brings pitcher golf clubs