Tiny Food Critics T-Shirts

'When Mom said you should eat a lot of green stuff, I don't think she meant grasshoppers.'

"Even when he throws them on the floor, he doesn't want the peas and carrots to touch."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

The Official Covid-19 Diet

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"For the first half hour, I was, like, really there. Enchanted. But I found the wild-quail confit so disappointing that not even the fig reduction on the poached pear could get me back."

'The Specials are the same as the Main Menu dishes, but with more florid descriptions.'

"Look out, Luke Grasswalker! Irascibility leads to the dark side of the force. . . right into a hamburger bun."

'If you order...You can digest it in...'

'Waiter, I think my wife's calamari is underdone.'

"Lumpy? Of course it's lumpy! Sweetbread soup is meant to be lumpy."

'Come on, eat your spinach.' -' Sorry, I'm on a special diet...No toxic waste.'

Vegetables VS Junk Food.

'Sorry Sir, you've had enough,'

"They're doing wonderful things with food I hate."

I don't know about you, but I'm getting tired of fast food.'

"I still liked it better when it was the Colosseum."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

410 BC: The Roman empire begins its slide into decadence.

"Everywhere you look, there's a rate hike."

Grim Reaper with ChipsFries.

'There's nothing good to eat!'

"I'll have the carrot cake, hold the carrots."

"They don't make formula the way they used to."

'Bananas! Once you've skinned them and removed the bone, there's nothing left.'

"He feels the honey-citrus glaze overpowers the plum."

'Waiter...!' (there is a human in my soup)

So what's your back story? What do you do? Marketing. Downtown. House of Java.net Cybercafe. I'm an investor in The Infant Restaurant Critic. Heard of it? A baby goes to a restaurants and cafes and tried their food. If he likes it, the eatery gets a glowing online review. If not, curtains! I'm an investor. I'm on the ground floor! Did you only ask about me so you could then talk about yourself? I hear you. You're asking about me. Don't know what's worse: Men, high-tech investors, or the combinat

"Who gets the Chateaubriand with the mail-in rebate?"

"The Garlic Escargot Velouté...would you like that in the traditional tureen, or supersized in a bucket?"

What's really in junk food...

'I'm sick of fast food. I mean, look at the legs on that thing.'