Timeless Literature Lover Gifts

Doctors Office Waiting Room. War and Peace. Atlas Shrugged. Crime and Punishment. This isn’t a good sign -- Most doctors' waiting rooms have magazines.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"You're going to hate yourself."

Thomas Mann.

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

The DaVinci Code

Tut and Carmen.

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Victor Hugo

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

Television Readers.

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Papageno from The Magic Flute

Jean-Paul Sartre

"For the last time stupid, you're tin man, you are not by any leap of the imagination, anything like Iron Man!"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.