Timeless Humor Aficionado T-Shirts

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

'Who said the Germans don't have a sense of humour? Just look at that card Hans Greber and we have haven't been shot at all day.'

'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

A man selling a horse to an older lady

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

Dante Alighieri

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

Gentleman discovering that his servants have been eating most of his good meat

Time Travelers from the 21st Century.

'Stop gritting your teeth!'

"It's my latest invention - I call it 'Fire point two oh'!"

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"But wait, there's more."

Mother Hubbard 2011

Not what he meant.

"What a pity! Mr Grogan took it on the lam not more than five minutes ago."

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

Thatcher's child

'He says he makes house calls, and he'll be over as soon as he gets his horse back from the blacksmith.'

Pistols at dawn.

"I'm a hunter." "I'm a gatherer."

A lady making a mistaken inference

Goldilocks and the Three Stooges

'I just loved you Potatoes O' Squanto!'

'Walking with cavemen? - I'm sleeping with one.'