Time Twister Pillows

'I still have time for both work and family - thanks to cloning.'

-Sorry about yesterday, I was ill! -You didn't look ill when I saw you at the races! -You didn't see me after the fifth leg!

"I don't have the lip for saxaphone."

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"Okay! Okay! It's a draw!"

Curtsey

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

"As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time..."

Hanukkah tree

'Obviously, I know a lot of weasel words, so I would be great in a business development role...'

Jack and the Beanstalk.

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

"You may now kiss the... Oh, I see you have already done that!"

'I have this constant ringing in my ears. I think I have tinnitus.' - 'Does it sound like an 'eeeeeee' or a 'shhhhh'?' - 'It's like the murmer of a thousand forgotten souls quietly lamenting past sorrows.' - 'Hmmm. I don't have a checkbox for that, sadly.

"Architectural Digest calls it 'Twilight chic.'"

"Well, I was under oath, so I couldn't lie outright, but I'm a weasel of course, so I have a way with words..."

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

"Rabbi Mandelbaum?"

"Nothing wrong with half-truths...you still have 50% to manipulate."

"He'd torch the castle and I'd rescue the damsel."

"This weekend is seriously messing with some of my previously held beliefs."

'He's calling Running Bear on his mobile.'

'He's so behind the times - his Hot Line is rotary!'

'As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time...'

Serf faints as apple is shot from his head by an arrow.

Burke and Hare and Hare

We thought everyone would read it, but they haven't got the time.

Students singing 'Now we know our A-B-Os'