Time-traveling Tactician Pillows

'We'll need some time-delay remote detonators and a big brick of C-4.'

"My new time machine is also fantastic if I want to take back a move."

Lynching on social media

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golf lessons

"If I've timed this right, symptoms should start at exactly 9 a.m. Monday."

'Don't worry, son. This bed inking incident will be our little secret.'

Safest Airline in The World

'This paintball war has really spun out of control.'

"We should take life one step at a time." "OK, but not right now...there's some dogs do-do right in front of us!"

Ready to move when the other guy blinks.

"3 ounce liquids! Get your 3 ounce liquids here! Approved and ready for screening! 3 ounce liquids!"

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

'Man, I can't believe we didn't think of this before.'

"I'm not attracted to him and we don't get along, but the timing is right."

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

Arsene Wenger

'Did you try rebooting?'

'So if it goes to the right it's a slice, to the left it's a hook...and down the center.'

Doctor handing cell phone to patient: 'Here, take this and call me in the morning.'

'He's switched from tweeting on Twitter to growling on a new social media site called Growler. Suits him better.'

Playing chess with a QR code for a chessboard

Coo coo clocks make a cats job easier.

'It's not what you buy. It's when you buy.'

"Is anybody listening to me?"

Passengers flee a Boeing aircraft.

'I was there the day we were married. Talk about bad timing.'

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

"Richard just came in - he must have had a board meeting."

'faster!'

"Yes, you can see the chairman this afternoon - have you ever done any caddying before?"

Heroes of the Afghan War

"Spoilsports"