Time-traveling Student Gifts

'Students excuses through out the ages.' A cave kid says, 'My dinosaur ate my homework,' a 1950s kid says, 'My dog ate my homework,' and a kid today says, 'My computer ate my homework.'

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

Time Machine Collision

Ideas Ahead of their Time

An old man exercising with hourglasses

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

Desperate to escape 2017, a scientist built his own time machine.

"I'm going to patronize India for my gap year, where are you going?"

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

'We froze him until medical science knows how to cure spear wounds.'

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'He's a real stickler for punctuality. He got really annoyed when I was late for an appointment, next week.'

Inventing Time Travel

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

'What happens after the end of time?'

"Remember the good old days, when all we had to worry about was a dollar-sixty-a-pound sirloin?"

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

Owl Through Time

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

"You'll get over him."

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

"Forget the future, tell me what happened to the past ten years."

"It's a time machine. I came to show it to you next week but you were busy."

Stop and Smell the Roses