Time-traveling Bard Gifts

'I can't believe this. . . 'There was a young man from Nantucket...'

Theorbo

"Babe, I'm gonna leave you... It may take a few eons, but I am definitely gonna leave you..."

"He just found that 'pillage' rhymes with 'village'."

"And this little piggy went – whoa! Where is your fifth little piggy?!"

"The interest rate can't go any lower, so if necessary, we'll have to go back to pounds of flesh."

"Yes, I know, Munger. But Wallace Stevens didn't scribble his damned verses on company time."

'Ã…w, gee whiz, Mom -- all the other kids have velociraptors!'

Early Sexting

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

First Speeding Fine.

"This one is really gonna blow their minds."

'To tweet or not to tweet...'

'To blog or not to blog, that is the question...' Shakespeare in the 21st Century

Shakespeare downloading thoughts.

Oldies Band.

The British Hamlet ('Alas poor Yorick, I knew him ...I say 'knew', more of an acquaintance really ...')

'Oh no. A Y1K virus.'

"Where there's smoke there's fire, at least there will be after someone invents fire."

'Have you done any stand-up?'

'Hunting, gathering.... It's so hard to prioritize!'

'Me invent the wheel!'

'I don't think you can just claim to have invented doctoring. I mean. . . don't you have to be medically trained or something?'

Caveman in office, "Miss Jones, come in here and bring me up to date."

"I'm from the future. You left the toaster on."

Time Machine Development Lab

'Not only the first wheel, the first road accident as well!'

"Note the arrangement of stones, the primitive inscriptions and drawings... Hopkins! We've discovered a prehistoric cartoon-a-day calendar!"

'Something bothering you, Bjornson?'

'Are you downloading another cylinder?'