Time-traveler's Paradox Gifts

The Delusions of a Stopped Clock

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

Sundial Time

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"I don't know who you are!"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."