Time-traveler's Paradox Gifts

The Delusions of a Stopped Clock

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"I don't care about the rating on Goodreads. We're reading Cinderella!"

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

The Missing Sock Returns

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Dr. Roo.

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Sundial Time

Time for vacation, time for work.

Atomic Bear: Part 21

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

"I don't know who you are!"

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'