Time Tinkerer T-Shirts

'As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time...'

"As I mentioned next week in my talk on reversible time..."

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

Pounding speeds up the computer.

Robot Parts $5

Robots search for people's personal information in the cloud.

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"I'm grounded. I forgot to delete the car's computer history after we did those crop circles on Earth."

The Computer Bore

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

Needed Inventions: An Airbag To Protect The Viewer Against A Really Lousy Program.

"Once I connect with my server over there, I can turn my lamp on and off."

Early cyborg.

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

Gadget geek.

The Not-So Smart Meter

"He's on screen saver. Just tap him."

'Hon? Did your phone go dead? Hello?'

'I solved the problem of dead zones on my cell phone with a personal satellite,'

"Siri, who’s the fairest of them all?"

'I think I see what's making your funny noise.'

"It's a smart hamper that sucks up clothes. My mom claims I leave my clothes on the floor, so she has it follow me wherever I go."

Bicycle sat nav.

'Ugh! Another oil puddle in the living room – bad robot dog!'

Congratulations on your retirement!

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"The man who invented autocorrect died from the corona vibrator."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

"No, it's not a bug. Since you keep losing you phone, I purchased you a phone-locating drone."

'3-D TV Kit'

"I'm not sheltering at home, I'm an artist in residence!"

Fixing the Computer.

Sundar Pichai's first doodle.