Time Tamer Pillows

'I purchased this great book on time management but, with my schedule, I can't find the time to read it.'

"My schedule is just nuts."

'You have appointments lined up right until you leave for vacation in 2008.'

Monday around 9PM.

If I move Jen's ortho to Friday, it conflicts with Sam's clarinet, but I can't move that to Monday because Tina has soccer! Ugh, how do I line this thing up? Rubik's Calendar.

Why don't you do what I do, pass it on.

'It's come to my attention that you're becoming a bit of a clock watcher.'

William would often take long walks along the beach, seeking inspiration for his next timesheet.

"I'm looking at your timesheet here. Clock watching two hours a day."

"Remember...when the going gets tough...DELEGATE!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Multi-tasking.

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"I cancelled the cable, turned off the phone, shut down the internet. . . where the hell am I??"

Before I can stop and smell the roses, I need time to stop and plant the @#$% roses.

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"I don't know...sometimes I think I don't spend enough time with them. What kind of role model am I?"

"Lovely dovetail."

'No, that wasn't your mother calling to ask if you were okay. That was your mother calling to ask if I was okay.'

(No caption. Signs on file cabinets drawers read, "Files Saved to Hard Drive," "Files Saved to Disk," "Files Saved to Traveldrive," "Trash.")

"You do realise that the post is only part time, no more than 70 or 80 hours a week."

"I managed to find a healthy work-life balance, but now there's a problem with my bank balance."

"Remember you told me to put my client list on my computer."

'So, come back in fifteen minutes?...Twenty?'

He has his own peculiar problems whether casting from the beach or from a boat.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

". . . so, all I really need to do is change one word."

New Swiss Army Knife

'Yes sir, I'll get right on it. Would you like it done with or without gusto?'

Parenting Business Deals

"Just put that in my, 'I'll get to it when I can, I'm only human' pile."

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Welcome aboard, Bob. Your job is to figure out what the hell happened here.'

'Before we start, would everyone please put your cell phone in the middle of the table?'

"I find that my strongest passwords are those created when the cat walks across the keyboard."