Time Span Traveler T-Shirts

"Forty years ago on this very seat I proposed to you. Made up your mind yet?"

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

"We're following Carrot Top."

Second hand furniture.

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Sundial Time

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Time for vacation, time for work.

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

Danger Slow Sand.

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

"I did my report on time travel, but my dog ate my homework in the future."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."