Time-saving Guru Gifts

'I didn't have time to put up a lot of lights, so this year I only put up one giant one.'

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

Work Parfait

Motivation to work

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

Time is HONEY

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Here's a new Blackberry with a special silent alarm that vibrates and delivers a small electrical shock. We call it the Gooseberry.

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

'Doctor says I've got an enlarged procrastinate.'

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

Working Environment

"I think you're becoming a workaholic."

"How flexible are we on the issue of flex time?"

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

State U. He procrastinated and is now trying to do all the work for his middle English literature class in a couple of days. "Canterburied," is he?!

Corporate Cafeteria. I don't care how many toppings you pizza has --- eating it is not multitasking!

"I have called you to attend this meeting to tell you that the meeting I originally called you for is canceled!"

Janet always was ahead of the curve...she outsourced herself.

Time Management