Time Optimization Guru Gifts

He was way ahead of his time. Well, not way ahead, only about 10 seconds.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

Work Parfait

Motivation to work

Fact: The average person spends 4.3 hours per week looking for things that are misplaced, misfiled or mislabeled.

'I see you're still trying to get the staff enthused over the weekly meetings.' (Meeting offers free coffee, free snacks, eye-popping charts, exciting videos and free idea pads).

"Meanwhile, obsessing about productivity is way up."

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

"Has anyone else noticed that the efficiency experts seem a little robotic?"

"The admin shouldn’t take more than 30 or 40 hours, then you’ll be free to get on with some work."

"Post Covid it was clear that the old 9-5 was no longer viable, our industry lends itself to home working."

Time is HONEY

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

Non-Jet Lag.

"Oh, I can be dependable, and for another £200 a week, I can be productive too."

Here's a new Blackberry with a special silent alarm that vibrates and delivers a small electrical shock. We call it the Gooseberry.

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'I'm sorry you had to wait. My Time Management Workshop started late.'

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

Strategic Planning Magnetic Kit showing words such as 'increase,' 'global,' 'leading,' and 'profitable'

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'

Don't Waste A Moment! Put Down That Magazine And Get Fit While You Sit!

"I think you're becoming a workaholic."

Working Environment

"How flexible are we on the issue of flex time?"

'It's for the girl who's in a hurry.'

"Well, we can tackle this now when we're exhausted from the week or wait until Monday when we're exhausted from the weekend."

"I have called you to attend this meeting to tell you that the meeting I originally called you for is canceled!"

Corporate Cafeteria. I don't care how many toppings you pizza has --- eating it is not multitasking!

Time Management