Time Awareness Gifts

Ack! 2010!! We're a whole tenth of the way through the "new" century! Hey! January. We've got a whole nine-tenths left to go. Easy for you to say! You aren't one-tenth of the way through the wrinkle cream Santa brought you.

Time Is Money

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

Baby Screen Time

'There is no past. No future. Only the present, which is changing every instant. Time is merely an illusion. Got it?'

"Can that be right?"

'C'mon! Speed it up! I've got a bottle of wine here that says it's meant to be drunk soon!'

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"It's from HQ, they're replacing me with a younger man!"

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

"You're late."

Hour Glass

1986 is my year

Boy throws a stick for a tortoise. By the time the tortoise returns, the boy is an old man.

"What really grinds my gears is by this time next year, I'll look exactly like you."

"I'm very good with punctuation."

'Your wife came by and left a message'

The march of time, "Have you noticed how all the umpires seem to be getting younger"

'Time? Time's relative.'

The passage of time.

Time Passes...For Meaning.

'I am an unhappy employee.'

Husband concerned about being late whilst wife has plastic surgery.

"Short straw gets the ribbon and the diaper!"

Internal Clock

"You will fall backward. But eventually you will spring ahead."

'I know my husband and there's no point arguing with him about how fast he was going when he's drunk.'

"Wait, it's Thursday? I thought it was Tuesday! The first day of the rest of my life was supposed to be Wednesday!!"

Checking watch

A middle aged man tries to stop time from slipping down an hourglass.

Cuckoo Clock - Cat waiting for it's dinner!

'It shouldn't take long to wnd up your Aunt's estate. She only left you an alarm clock.'

'Would you like seconds?'