Tidy Guru Pillows

Cut out and keep your own Cleaner.

I think it's time to clean the basement.

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

Ironing day.

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"I'm cleaning a little already, because the cleaning lady will be here soon!"

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

Problem Solving

Monsters won't eat you if they're not hungry. So, each night, Mom makes it a sandwich. If I keep my room tidy.

Gary Basks in the glow of a fifteen-minute window with no empty cardboard boxes in the house.

"I spent the whole day cleaning the house. My cleaning lady comes tomorrow and I didn't want her seeing things like that!"

I'm organizing the house. Can I help? Do you have any storage bins for stuff we don't use very often? Hold on. I have just the thing! Thanks, mom.

'It may not be your feng shui, but it's my feng shui.'

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

File Cabinets for Perfectionists

Enlightened Cursing

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"You told Pastor Bob about my room, didn't you?"

"Teddy, you call this a 'clean room'?"

"Was it a fuse?"

'Well, I don't believe it Your room is spotless And in just 10 minutes,,,'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

'Why not Google it?'

"Namaste."

'It would be just like my husband not to like the color.'

"He's a hunter-gatherer-tinkerer-fixer-upper-restorer-reseller."

'I've organised the bathroom.'

Builders.

"These pills will cure your O.C.D., but first I wonder if you could organize my shelves."

"I could probably keep spring-cleaning till next winter."

"Just buy a new one. It's over 40 years old. That must be about 160 in toilet years."

Spring cleaning.

"That loft has needed sorting out for years, at least you've had time to do the job properly!!"