Ticklish Laughter Lover Pillows

Stop whispering in my ear, it tickles!

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

'A man has to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink!'

'Smile and say: tofu-based dairy substitute.'

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"For a full third of my life I didn't drink. I was asleep!"

Estate Agents - Now in!! Affordable houses (flooded).

"You have the right to remain inanimate, but anything you do mime may be used against you in a court of law"

Podiatrist

Hospital patient using his thermometer on the remote control.

'Every time I catch something in tendrils, it tickles!'

Sheep Pranks.

'...and why shouldn't she be sleeping with your next door neighbour - she's my wife!'

'What did I say? NO PANTIES!!'

'Kitchy, kitchy, kitchy-koo'

'Freddy Kameahmeah, uncrowned king of Hula dancers. His hoop hasn't seen the ground in six months.'

'Wow, Doris-look at THAT nagging fodder!!!'

"I'm praying like Mummy and Daddy. Holy Jesus, my God, Give it to me, I'm in heaven. Don't stop..."

"Fred's conversational level speaks volumes. When he's losing an argument, he raises the volume."

"I'll see what I can do - Just how ticklish ARE you?"

Sad Humour

"If you laugh at all of God's jokes, he's never going to learn what's funny."

God laughs with you, not at you - unless you pray for something stupid.

It pays to vote!

"You can outsource homework, but outsourcing a test would be very tricky."

Boy, look at the belly on that one.Did you ever see a belly like that?

"I used to ooze sexuality, but it turned out to just be Chlamydia."