Ticklish Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

Trappist Monk Discord

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

'What does it say, Dad?'

'The Buck Stops Here.'

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

HELLth Food Sprouts

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Penguin

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

The Frankenstein snowman.

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

Ask A Silly Question.

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

Clone Factory

'In my opinion, hold out for a doctor.'

"Inactivists"