Ticklish Humor Enthusiast Pillows

"I can't work on this one. It's too ticklish."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Say, when did you get so fluff?"

Trappist Monk Discord

Cow talking to dog: 'What...You eat your own...?!'

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

"Why the gumboots? Well, I can't stand slimy things touching my feet..."

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

'There's nothing wrong with your heart. It's your soft chocolate center.'

'What does it say, Dad?'

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'The Buck Stops Here.'

HELLth Food Sprouts

"I now pronounce you a partial place setting."

Armed dogs wait for hot dog vendor.

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Now that you've moved in and unpacked, Higgins, we'd like you to start thinking outside of the box.'

Penguin

'In today's market hyperbole was up sharply. Similes and metaphors held relatively steady with euphemisms hitting another record low.'

Jars containing a Brain and a Brain Fart.

"...in other news: Google has been admitted to the United Stations..."

'Staffers don't report we're managing decline. They report we met our targets and did out job!'

'Not only do we have no natural enemies we have no natural friends.'

Ask A Silly Question.

"Actually, you do have a racist bone in your body."

The Frankenstein snowman.

"If you get married at the Grammy Awards, can your marriage be annulled at the Country Music Awards?"

Blind man feeding an empty fish tank

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

Clone Factory

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'