Thumb Workout Enthusiast T-Shirts

I worry that your camp concentrates too much on soccer. I'm ok, mom. Really. Specializing is bad for your joints and muscles. Chill, mom. I'm cross-training. Oh. I have very well-conditioned thumbs.

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

He prefers to play fetch with a medicine ball.

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

The Houseplant Cemetery.

Book on Thumb Twiddling

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

Texting. Hardware. Software. Plans. Most of our business comes from word-of-thumb.

"What about your precious opposable thumbs now?"

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

Topiary By Numbers

"I now declare a thumb war."

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

Follow me on Twiddle my thumbs.

You stink at Halo 5. I have no thumbs!

"Sure, I can recommend some mental exercises. Try memorizing all the prescription drugs I have you on."

"Don't text so fast! At this rate, you'll need your thumbs retread."

A painter paints his thumb, not the nude model in front of him.

'Cool! Thanks to our opposable thumbs, we can send SMS messages...'

Hand hitch-hiking.

Phones PDA IM Text. Ernie's always been all thumbs --- He's a natural at text messaging!

'You'll have to wait a few minutes. My mom and dad are involved in a power struggle.'

'Sure, the thumbs are great -- but how come we don't have opposable toes?'

I can't help thinking we should be using opposable thumbs for more than thumb wrestling.

"I couldn't decide who gets the promotion, so company policy states that you thumb wrestle for it."

You are not allowed to join the army, little buddy. You don't want me getting hurt in war? I just don't think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business taking on terrorists. For your information, you're looking at the World Lightweight Champion of Thumb Wrestling, fourteen years running. Not at all the same thing. And my mom said playing video games would never take me anywhere.

"I just don't think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business engaging in combat."

'I just evolved the opposable thumb, and I've already got carpal-tunnel syndrome!'

"Okay; we've evolved opposable thumbs. Now what?"

Brandon's thumb wars were always epic.

'I hear the geek is undefeated since he started texting.'

'Increasing resistance.'

By the time they reach adulthood, many video gamers will have developed chronic 'Playstation Thumb.'