Thumb War Champions Pillows

"I now declare a thumb war."

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

'He's made an eco-friendly bamboo bike... unfortunately all the tomato plants have fallen down.'

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

"What are you growing?"

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

"Miss Daniels! Get in here! The sansevieria trifasciata is budding!!"

The Fireside Jungle: Beware of introducing pest into the house with new specimens.

Gardener's Calendar: Look out for damage by hail.

"It's weeder's elbow."

Andy Johnson, Hardcore Composter

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

Dead House Plant

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

Make a careful study of these creatures and use every means to combat them...

2012 warmest year on record so far.

Lawn and Order

Lawn & Garden Supply. Sod. They're arguing over the last piece of sod we have in stock. I hate these turf battles.

"What is it about us that makes only crazy people want to talk to us?"

Roots coming through the roof of a balcony.

"Emma's been planting all the stones from our avocados."

Weod Monath (Weed Month) The Saxon word for the month of August.