Thumb War Champion Pillows

"I just don't think someone who's never won an arm-wrestling match in his life has any business engaging in combat."

Brandon's thumb wars were always epic.

'I hear the geek is undefeated since he started texting.'

"I couldn't decide who gets the promotion, so company policy states that you thumb wrestle for it."

The Endless Battle of the Organic Gardener

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

The day the cat realized it was dependent.

"Bob! Your manure's here!"

"Oi - I was pollinating that!!"

-A garden uses a lot of water. -Most of it perspiration.

'Don't you think it's time you tackled the wandering dew?'

"We found three sort-of Earthlike planets around a nearby star." "Do you think any of them have video games?" "I've been trying to work out the odds of an intelligent species arising and evolving thumbs capable of holding an X-box controller." "Proof of video games would change everything." "I wonder what the aliens on those planets consider sexy." "Living beings creating simulated beings they can smash is the hallmark of an intelligent species."

'He's made an eco-friendly bamboo bike... unfortunately all the tomato plants have fallen down.'

Showing gardening tools to a tower block.

'See I told you the garden was big enough for a table and chairs.'

"What are you growing?"

"Please point out the problem tooth."

This plant is a lousy malingerer!

Texting. Hardware. Software. Plans. Most of our business comes from word-of-thumb.

"Oh god, here she comes again, insisting she's helping."

"What about your precious opposable thumbs now?"

'Those showy blooms are very susceptible to pests.'

"It's weeder's elbow."

Andy Johnson, Hardcore Composter

The Fireside Jungle: Beware of introducing pest into the house with new specimens.

"Miss Daniels! Get in here! The sansevieria trifasciata is budding!!"

Gardener's Calendar: Look out for damage by hail.

You'll need all your energy when you get home.

"911?... Guinness Book of World Records?... 911?

Dead House Plant

'But toothache is the worst!'

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

Make a careful study of these creatures and use every means to combat them...