Thrift Warrior Pillows

Thrift: Get as much amputated as possible.

'Never mind that stuff -- I'm going to tell you the financial facts of life!'

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Second hand furniture.

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

So I'm "cheap." It's a perfectly good word. And it aptly describes my interest in conserving resources. I suppose we could call you "thrifty." Heavens no! And waste two whole letters? I see we've only wasted one whole tea bag.

Queen of Upcycling!

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

That's supposed to say garage sale!

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

"I just..."

"I love these old decorations!"

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

"There's more inside."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Vintage Dresses: Your Frock Exchange

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Crap others threw out

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'It's time for the annual wage review...' (Sign on the wall says 'Remember money isn't everything!')

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

How To Cut The Defense Budget

House sale.