Thrift Thrill-seeker Gifts

Reality of the Antique Roadshow: 'I bought it at a garage sale for $10.' 'Ha! You really got ripped off!'

PoundStore

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'We are entering an era of thrift, so in place of champagne and canapes, there will be a jumble sale.'

"I just..."

That's supposed to say garage sale!

"I'm on a tight budget. Make it look like I cut at myself."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

'We grow our food, have solar energy, use bikes instead of car...now if we could only stop buying knickknacks!'

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Crap others threw out

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

Electricity Bills

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

House sale.

'I thought you wanted a clothes dryer.'

'There's something satisfying about clearing out the loft and taking it all to a car boot sale to make room for all the rubbish you buy there with the proceeds.'

"I only drink on special occasions. Like when some body else is buying."

"There's another one! Pull over!"

Man debating the price in a resteurant

'He has no romance. For special occasions, he gives me a coupon for a card and chocolates that will be 50% off the next day.'

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'

Thrift: Live in the sea, make friends with a whale, and shower for free.

Stock Wanted