Thrift-conscious Eater Pillows

"Ten Dollars?! I can't eat that." Bob was on a strict low-cost diet.

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"I just..."

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

'You raised the price of air to 50c!' 'Inflation.'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"I'm taking your advice and saving my money!"

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Who had the cod, and who had the flying fish?

Crap others threw out

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

"Let's start with a couple of glasses of water and if that goes well I'll order two coffees."

'Withdrawal symptoms.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"Years of penny-pinching really paid off. The price of copper just went up again."

The Bargain Brand

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

"I've been told to go through all our expenses...cut out any fat, get rid of any costly perks!"

Electricity Bills

How much would you take off for cash?

House sale.

Martin hated dining alone – but loved the savings.

"We could have a Do-It-Yourself wedding! Your friends could do the cake and flowers, Uncle Jim could do the photos..."

Cost cutting construction ideas that failed: using rhubarb instead of rebar in concrete.

'He's studying to go to university' - Student reading book; 'HOW TO LIVE ON NO MONEY'

'If the pound is worth so little, can I have a couple?'

"C'mere, space heater."

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.