Thrift Connoisseur Gifts

"You've had a job for more than a year...and you have no money?"

Second hand furniture.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

Thrift: have your arms and legs amputated, use a pillow for a bed!

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

"I just..."

Limerick On A Grecian Urn

"I need something that says, 'Let's party,' but in a fiscally responsible manner."

Welcome all to the monthly gathering of Tightwads United. Hi there. Hello. Hey. On tonight's agenda: Dumpster diving, coupon clipping, and a special lecture. How to carpool while always getting the other person to drive. I'm like a god. Woohoo!! Yeah!!! Clap clap clap clap clap clap clap. Tightwads United.

Crap others threw out

'The sick economy isn't why J.B.has cut back on spending. He always was a tightwad.'

Buy Back the Junk We Bought at Your Garage Sale

"I think I found the perfect time of year to sell my old clothes!"

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'It took a six hour operation to remove this fiver from your fist.'

House sale.

Garage Sale (sign originally read 'Garbage' sale).

Electricity Bills

Sale on Three Piece Suits, $10, 300 Polyester.

Thrift: instead of 1 tap for hot water and 1 tap for cold, 1 tap for warm water.

"I only drink on special occasions. Like when some body else is buying."

Extreme Yard Sale

"There's another one! Pull over!"

'How about if we choose teams based on who has the coolest stamp collection.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

Just Smoke and Mirrors - Gifts For the Easily Distracted.

Second hand store: 'LEFTOVERS AGAIN!'

' I hear she was quite the collector...'

What were you thinking when you bought this re-sale shop.

"Let's save this gift wrap. I'm sure we can use it again. Remind me not forget about using this next year."

The Priceless Ming Vase Relays.

'Look, mom...a bargain!'

"...And when the world economy collapses, we all stand up and take over! Agreed?"

Thrift: bathe fully dressed and wash your clothes at the same time

Customer: 'Do you have anything for the same price that doesn't cost so much?'