Thought-provoking Debater Pillows

"It's the Dr. Sadie advice hour. For the next two hours, I'll be taking nothing but Christmas-related calls."

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'Do you think that's wise?'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

Difference of Opinion

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

'I know it's controversial, but my calculations prove beyond doubt that a nod is BETTER than a wink.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'I suppose you're entitled to your opinion, but I still say that Shemp was the greatest of them all.'

God Bless America, God Help Syria

Do you go for Hannity or O'Reilly? Tough call. O'Reilly's presence is so big, fearless. Whereas Hannity has a wicked fast tongue and such inner strength. As symbolized externally by his jawline. O'Reilly is so tall. Something strange is happening. Coulter's a bit masculine for my tastes. Ditto. HOJ.

More Unequal Than Others

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

Yellow Vests

Are You a True American Patriot?

Prisoner speech

"George we don't have an opposing point of view!"

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

Tucker Carlson

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

Useful vs. Wasteful Spending . . . Arts Programs and Missile Defense Programs.

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

"Why is it that yours are 'Aha!' moments, but mine are always 'No duh?'"

"I have a warrant for the arrest of Sandro Botticelli."

"The problem with facts is that they get in the way of ignorance."

The Elephant in the Corner.

'Well, now, let's just shine the light of common sense and linear thinking on this little computer problem of yours, shall we?' 'I'm not THAT desperate yet.'

As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is The Children v. Mommy. The Supreme Court, Juvenile Division.

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

School of Voodoo Economics