Imaginative Debater Pillows

'I bet he can run twice as fast as you can.'

Big people always make a mess of things phobia: 'Let's play grownups. You'll be for busing and I'll be against it.'

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

'Do you think that's wise?'

'Think how all that chatting is affecting global warming.'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

Science Snobs

"Jersey Tomatoes" vs. "Jersey toMAHtoes"

"It's PENCILvania!!!"

Why do they prefer a pitcher to a belly itcher? Everyone loves a belly itcher!

"And today if the prosecutor says 'Liar, liar, pants on fire,' do not turn around to check."

'Did you ever wonder why iced coffee is goof but cold coffee isn't? . . . You're not curious like I am.'

Prisoner speech

Children Demand Parental Term Limits.

"I can't decide if that was bad in a good way, good in a good way, good in a bad way, or bad in a bad way."

"If thinking about sin is as bad as committing it, why not go ahead and commit it?"

I have a confession. Sometimes I doubt that God is really a giant chicken. Eggnostics.

Capital punishment right or wrong? For men or women?

"Why is it that yours are 'Aha!' moments, but mine are always 'No duh?'"

"And now Professor Weyfeld, of Columbia University, with some liberal claptrap."

No atheists in Heaven.

You! Are thick magazine.

'I'm not a wine snob. You're a wine ignoramus.'

"All in favor of ending the heartache and the thousand natural shocks this firm is heir to, say aye."

"I disagree. I think we're ninety percent breeding and ten percent grooming."

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

As usual, the obvious precedent for this case is The Children v. Mommy. The Supreme Court, Juvenile Division.

"Oh. . . and this one, Jerimiah 19.9 'And I will make them eat the flesh or their sons and daughters'."

'That was a long winded conversation...I thought he'd never stop listening.'

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

'Your brother sure ha some kind of weirdo creepy imagination.'

'So you're the boy who wants to be a chugger.'

Brain vs heart

"Oh, yeah! Well my dad says St. Joe is too the patron saint of coffee!"