Thought Decoder T-Shirts

'It's my job to be nosy!'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

* For latent content, see your psychiatrist.

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

Madame ZuZu. Dream Interpretation. Tarot. Palms. She says the dream where I'm taking a test naked means I barely made it through school.

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

Paw readings

DIY horror.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

"The quicksand was corporate's idea. I wanted to fire you for going over my head. They wanted to send a message."

Information vs. confusion

'Sheisse ... What ein dream!' - Freud

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

'There's been a change in my recurring nightmare. I'm no longer falling . . . my credit rating is.'

I've been having very strange dreams lately, but they're no match for how bizarre waking hours life has seemed.

Sigmund Freud.

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

"I'm here because my vision is getting so bad I can't even see clearly in my dreams at night!"

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

'I dreamed I was flying and I had airline food.'

Siggy

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Work related problems for Madame Tussaud

"I had the strangest dream. I was suddenly in a room full of people, and I didn't have a stitch on."

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

'Well, I just met the girl of my dreams -- you know, the kind you have when you eat anchovy pizza right before bed.'

"There you go kid. If you have a monster he can't get out now."