Those Who Appreciate Mistaken Identity Situations Gifts

'Sorry, pal -- from behind, you look just like my girl friend.'

"Yup, pretty sure that was a flying squirrel."

"My guess it's guacamole."

"I'm Rapunzel. You want Juliet – next tower over."

A hard green shell on the outside doesn't always mean it's chocolaty on the inside.

'When you said, Dream Team, I thought you meant the Swiss Bikini Team.'

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

"There's corporate me and there's me, and, by God, we both know how to have fun."

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

What really became of the boy named Sue.

'What?... You wanted your horse SHOD!?'

"Never lie to your attorney, Brad. If any lies need to be told I'll tell them."

". . . But, hey, man, I just want to say this in all sincerity, man, that you are the greatest, man, you the el numero uno cat in my book, man you. . ."

Secret Identity Theft.

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'Wellington!...Come take a look at this!...I've never seen anything like it!...Some sort of early sun worship etching perhaps!'

'My Goodness! All these years George and I never guessed you were a superhero.'

"Sorry, I don't work here."

"Which one more says 'Cool Guy?'"

'Hang on a minute - you're not my husband!'

"I'll tell you my gender if you tell me yours."

'... and then Peter was Mr. McGregor...'

'Didn't I read your last book, find it absolutely disgusting and vow never to read another, or was that someone else?'

"Which one of us is me?"

Frankenstein "Damn it! Not another ethic origin questionaire"

Millennial

I Was Married to Banksy.

Name

To: Rudy Park. From: Lemont Brown. Hey Rudy, it's me. Long time no talk. How are you these days? Lemont? From Berkeley? Tap tap tap tap. Yeah. Man … Putnam Hall 1993. Those were the days. What ever happened to our roommate Ken? Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Divided Airlines. Divided Airlines. You know, that freak who was always writing articles about "news" and junk for the school paper ... That MORON who didn't know a Gameboy from a GameGear ... That big baby whose mommy was always calling to check

Valerie thrived in an internet community that had no idea she was a chicken...

'I'm not a hawk or a dove. I'm a dog!'

'I love how you're not like everyone else. Oh, sorry, I thought you were my wife.'

"I was born a doughboy but I identify as a crescent roll."