Third Marriage Pillows

Hernia clinic: 'You either have to quit getting married, or quit carrying your new bride over the threshold!'

"Look, will you forget about them? They're in the past. The important thing is what I feel now – about you!"

"Third marriage."

"Do you, Meredith, better known as Wife Number Three, take this man. . ."

'He's not my granddad, he's my father by his third marriage.'

"She's planning a big wedding, and why not. You only get married for the third time once."

'It's his second marriage and her third.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"Darling, you never let me see the side of you that pays."

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'

'And thanks be to the lord that we're going out to eat on Friday...'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

"This could be the marriage all our other marriages were for!"

'What makes you think I want a trophy wife?'

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"Well, your feng shui isn't my feng shui."

"First, I'll read the minutes from your last weddings."

"George is fluent in two languages. English and total nonsense."

"I wish I'd had the eye test before I got married."

'Don't be so sensitive,I only dozed of for a moment.'

'I bet you could walk down the aisle blindfolded now,eh,Gloria?'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."