Think Tank Satirist Gifts

Last Real Tough-Minded Thinking for 200 Miles

"Nation-building never works."

"You're fired."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

Flags

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Spot the difference.

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

Reagacentennial

"He could have been the national bird, but that was a long, long time ago."

'I couldn't think of a science fair project so I just re-invented the wheel.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"You're on a what?!"

"Excellent, excellent. A fine blend of truths, half-truths, and blatant falsehoods."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

The International and May Day Terrorism

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Up here, light is neither a particle nor a wave. It's a liquid."

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

The economy.

Donald Trump Removing Aggressor Label From Vladimir Putin

"We won!"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

'Ah, it's so precious to witness a child learn how government actually works...'

The americanisation of vulture.