Thermostat Skeptic Gifts

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

I.T. Fear

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

Privacy

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."

Big Brother.

"To 'click to enter' or not to 'click to enter'… that is the question."

"Oh, this? It can access every piece of knowledge from the history of mankind and I hate it."

"You can't believe everything the Russian bots tell you."

"Tarzan no want computer."

Can't you anarchists do anything within the system?

"The central digital platform is temporarily renamed Project Schrödinger’s Cat. Until it is accessed on the 24th February it both is and is not a working system."

"I need a pitchfork that's just a pitchfork."

I Value Your Privacy, So I'm Keeping It.

'I have trouble believing in global warming when it's so cold that my nipples and p***s are the same size.'

No, you tell him the computer says he's wrong!

Diner is served

"Hold it right there! Our legislature is currently considering new measures to protect children from the insidious ravages of cell phones in schools!"

'Why worry about intrusive electronic surveillance. If you've done nothing wrong, you should have nothing to hide!'