Therapy-treader Gifts

Man to date about many self-portraits on his wall: 'Self-realization is where I'm headed.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

Couples' therapy

Window Treatment

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'I hate Mondays.'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'We have three minutes left.'

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

'I see you in five years from now, you're still coming to see me. Do you want me to book the appointments in advance?'