Therapy Trailblazer T-Shirts

"Stan, this looks like a breakthrough!"

Psychiatry. Ordinary therapeutic techniques have been unsuccessful, but I have a crazy idea that just might work!

"You said this would help with my stress. When's the foot rub start?"

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

Couples' therapy

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

X-ray Psychology.

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'You were right Doc: Jumping over the monn did boost my self esteem!'

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'I hate Mondays.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'We have three minutes left.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'