Therapy Tongue-in-cheek Gifts

"And when did this over-aggressive behavior begin to manifest itself?"

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

'It's not my childhood that traumatised me. It's the size of your bills.'

'Yes, we are going in circles. How do you feel about that?'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

'Well, no, I wouldn't say I'm a mad cow, although Farmer Brown does get on my nerves once in a while!'

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

"You do realise that you are not the only client scheduled this morning?"

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

"I can't afford therapy. The inner child support payments alone are killing me."

"You're right, Carl. Everything does suck."

"I'm right there in the room, and no one even acknowledges me."

"I'm sensing big crybaby."

"Tell me about your problem drinking."

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

'Your car broke down? Oh, my. Well, don't panic. Just be there for it. Listen and try to be supportive.'

"I think that's your reptile brain speaking, Cynthia!"

'So tell me, Doc...am I cracked or not?'

"There's nothing wrong with me, I just really like this couch."

"Frankly, the idea of "Mating for Life" is quite daunting to somebody like me who has a fear of commitment..."

"Don't worry. Very soon you'll be back to what passes as normal for you."

"Listen, I'm going to close my eyes for a short bit but you just keep on talking.".