Therapy Session Innovator Gifts

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

Licensed Therapist

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

Couples' therapy

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'We have three minutes left.'

"Yeah, you could say I've got mother issues....she told me I have to move out!"

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

"My brother thinks he's a chicken... He's crazy."

"You need to stop bottling it up."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

A cartoonist at the doctor, in yoga, at home and in therapy

"First, we'll look for repressed memories of malpractice suits."

"Has it ever occurred to you just to say, 'Hey, I quit. I don't want to be a part of the food chain anymore'?"