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". . . And you're mean. Other psychologists would at least give their wife a discount. . ."

Providing Healthcare For All

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"Teach me not to care."

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"No heroic measures."

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Sardine psychologist.