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". . . And you're mean. Other psychologists would at least give their wife a discount. . ."

Providing Healthcare For All

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Let me guess...it's contagious!'

I just hope my doctor is not on twitter too!

World Cup Fever

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

"It's interpret-your-own-test-results day today."

"..Your analysis and medication would be perfect if you were a goat."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Teach me not to care."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

"I think you may have your gown on back to front."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"The operation was a success. Thank goodness for YouTube videos!"

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

Sardine psychologist.

"No heroic measures."

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."