Therapy Couch Thinker Pillows

'Dear, the good doctor appears to have misplaced my file. Can you fax over your copy?'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

Studies show foods work miracles!

'Mr. Dunbarter, your fantasy that 'greed is good' may be a case of economic insanity.'

"Can you hypnotise me into being in shape?"

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"And next up, Fairy Tales: FolkLORE or FolkLIES!"

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'John is watching the game under protest.'

"Stop blaming yourself. You loved, and dedicated so much of your time. Have you considered getting another cactus?"

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"And when you realized it was the wrong tree, why do you think you kept barking up it?"

"You're overthinking it. Sometimes a belly rub is just a belly rub."

Psychiatrist with bust of Freud

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'The Grand Jury doesn't understand me...'

"Scientists confirmed today that everything we know about the structure of the universe is wrongedy-wrong-wrong."

'Fear of getting caught is understandable but fear of water, I think, requires counselling.'

How to be a Dynamic Over-achiever

"It all started when I didn't grow up in a palatial estate."

'So, ten thousand pounds could be yours if you call in and answer this question...Why the hell aren't you in bed?!'

'As your financial advisor, I'd have to advise you to change your main income provider,'

"On the weekend I finally beat the club pro...so I don't need you anymore!"

'Therapy in L.A.'

“What if I tell you the card you are thinking of is … the Jack of Hearts ?”

'My wife's therapist doesn't understand me.'

"Tom, let's explore why you feel Andrea's inability to understand 'icing the puck' is passive-aggressive."