Therapy Comic Appreciator Gifts

A Wally Yomp Psychologist...Practice limited to people who are really miffed!

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

'Sorry'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"Teach me not to care."

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Can I take your disorder?

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"The Jacksons will be there in about an hour and I promise you guys an epic fight!"

Sardine psychologist.

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"No heroic measures."

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."

"Gorg, you've got to let yourself evolve!"

New, Improved Cat

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'