Therapy Comedies Gifts

"It's my father again."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"You're completely screwed up."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

"Sometime I feel people go out of their way just to scare me."

'Pencil on couch being psycho analysed.'

"You'll never be a full participant in your mental health care if you keep saying wacky things."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

"Teach me not to care."

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'Look at you. You're a basket case.'

I've been feeling sluggish lately.

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

'We auto mechanics get no respect!'

Psychiatrist to man dressed in baseball jersey: 'You've never gotten over the fact your father wouldn't play catch with you?'

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

'Life's little wonders are too big for me.'

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"No heroic measures."

Can I take your disorder?

"Alexa, does this guy have mother issues?"

'I may not really need you. My imaginary friend is a psychiatrist.'

"Nobody loves me." "Yeah, nobody listens to me. Not even my wife." "My kids don't respect me."

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"I have this relationship with money, it's complicated."

"I'm sensing that the role-playing homework I gave you didn't work."

Sardine psychologist.

"You dawdle, daydream. You make lists of things to do but can't get started. You seem to be restricted from doing what you know you should be doing. These problems will dissolve when you read Chapter Ten of my new book, at eight dollars and ninety-five cents."