Therapist Promoter T-Shirts

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

America, are we learning anything?

Licensed Therapist

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

Couples' therapy

Window Treatment

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

'I hate Mondays.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'We have three minutes left.'

Tabletop Theatre

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

Shrinks in heaven