Therapist Promoter Gifts

"My previous patient thought he was a cruise missile."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

Licensed Therapist

America, are we learning anything?

"I bought it off the therapist who's helping me kick my compulsive shopping disorder."

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Postwar is hell."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

Couples' therapy

What We Thought Were Canals Are Deep Prejudices and Inequities.

Window Treatment

'I haven't been able to come to grips with it. My hands are too small.'

'...and now, Gentlemen, we come to our final lecture in advanced cardiology...'

"I keep on getting these feelings of love, peace and empathy..."

"I sometimes think you're the only one who listens to me."

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

"Oops! I just deleted all your files. Can you repeat everything you've ever told me?"

"Client screamed, "I HATE SPRING!" and continued to have a meltdown. Diagnosis: Seasonal Affective Disorder."

"You might be interested in our encounter group for people with transmission problems."

'... And it's been ages since he last swashed his buckle!'

Tabletop Theatre

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

"I feel off. I want to feel off and running."

'We have three minutes left.'

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

'I hate Mondays.'

'I find that a live rhinoceros rather than an invisible elephant speeds things up considerably.'

"It's hard not to take a mutiny personally."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Well, if you're still awake when the time changes, you'll lose an hour of overthinking everything, too."

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'